It's Perfectly Okay to Say No to Postpartum Guests (Here’s How)
In those final weeks of pregnancy, it feels like the whole world is on pins and needles, just waiting to rush in and meet your baby as soon as they arrive. But what if that's not what you want?
What if, instead, you're yearning for some quiet, private time with your newborn? It's okay to want that, and it's okay to say 'no' to visitors.
Let’s dive into why it's important to prioritize your needs, how to set loving boundaries, and what alternatives you can offer to your eager friends and family. So, you can enjoy those first precious moments with your baby, just the way you want.
It's Okay to Prioritize Your Needs
First off, let's bust the myth: saying 'no' to visitors doesn't make you a bad host or an ungrateful family member. It makes you a mom who's prioritizing her and her baby's needs. Remember, this time is about recovery, both physically and emotionally. If you just want your mom or your sister, that’s ok too.
Health Comes First
With a newborn, health is paramount. Limiting visitors can be a health decision too. Newborns have delicate immune systems, and it's okay to want to minimize exposure to germs.
Bonding Time is Precious
The early days with your baby are irreplaceable. They're for bonding, understanding each other's cues, and establishing a routine. Honestly, crowding these moments with visitors can disrupt this crucial bonding period.
It's About Emotional Well-being
Postpartum blues are real, and the last thing you need is the stress of entertaining. Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical recovery.
Setting Boundaries is Healthy
Setting boundaries is healthy for all relationships. It's a way to communicate your needs respectfully. Start by having an honest conversation with potential visitors before the baby arrives. Explain that you'll be limiting visitors and why. Using social media to communicate to everyone is a great option and makes it less personal to your loved ones.
Example, “I want to start by saying how grateful we are for all the love and support you've shown our family, especially as we welcome our new baby into the world. Your role in our baby's life is truly cherished, and we appreciate everything you've done and will continue to do as he/she/they grow up. I'd like to have an open and honest conversation with you about something important. As a new parent, my top priority is ensuring our baby's well-being. I've been learning from friends, our doctor, and our midwife about the significance of those first few days for bonding and breastfeeding which is why we won’t have visitors until baby is X days/weeks old. I want you to know that limiting visitors during this time is not a reflection of my love for you. It's a necessary step for the health and adjustment of our family and we love you so much”
With my clients, I’ve seen them request days or even months to bond with their new baby. However you’re feeling is valid here for a long as you need.
Offer Alternatives
Let your loved ones know that their support is still valued. Suggest alternative ways they can help, like dropping off meals or running errands. This lets them be involved without overwhelming you.
Don't Forget the Power of Technology
Thank goodness for technology! Suggest video calls as an alternative to in-person visits. This way, everyone gets to see the baby without invading your space. My family does a weekly group zoom call that anyone who is available can join if they wish!
You Can Always Change Your Mind
Finally, remember, it's your right to change your mind. If you feel up to visitors sooner or later than expected, that's perfectly fine.
This is your journey and your baby! Setting boundaries is not just okay; it's necessary. And you can do so lovingly!
I hope reading this has given you some solid ideas about how to set some healthy boundaries postpartum. If you’re still looking for a NYC newborn photographer, get in touch with me here.
